Love is..

Hey all!

Well, not surprisingly, am sitting in starbucks again. After few macroecons run through, it is definitely time to stop looking at the crazy text book for too long. Hmmm~ what should I post about this time. After few 'sight-seeings' here, I felt like posting about this one.

The famous 'Love is blind'. It is pretty true if you think about it. Look around. You will understand why. It is like, when you are so very deeply in love, the flaws, no matter how big or how small they may be, will be seen as 'nothing' to you. People might say you deserve a better partner, but, of course, to you, everyone is wrong about it. It must have been something that person did which touched you so very deeply and all of their wrong-doings will be hidden from your view or you plainly choose not to see it due to the fact you are scared to lose that person. Your sight will be opened when, one fine day, another treasure comes along and top the position of the current one in your life. The problem with that will be you-will-have-to-wait-for-that-one-fine-day. Good things come to those who wait. Trust that sentence. Serious! It works. Once, a dear friend said "Love is stupid". It is not. It is something to cherish and experience no matter how bad or good it is. The problem is, it is blind. "Love is an act of endless forgiveness, a tender look which becomes a habit." - Peter Ustinov - A friend told me that it is more like we are willing to tolerate with it and it is not blind. (Think bout it darling. It is the same. Hehehehehe.)

Love comes in many ways, forms, looks and sizes. Watch 'Love Actually' or 'Love is Cinta'. You will get to see the many ways how love is shared. Sometimes, or should I say most of the time, you can feel or experience the presence. You will have a different feeling of care. Sometimes it comes straight and you see it directly in front of you. It is whether you want to accept it or block it away from you. If you did not get the 'love' you want from that special person, you are still getting endless ones from the people who care.

Love is not selfish. If it is, then it is not love at all. Selfish will be, like, example: A pretty and attractive girl, being popular among guys and loved by most. The Boy , in love with the girl deeply. the Girl knew about his feeling but the Girl has no intention to give the same feeling to the guy. But the Girl just like having that feeling of being like by the Boy. So she kept him hanging and knowingly kept him in pain and torture, even after the Boy opened his feelings to her. For those who are planning to toy around with the other poor unfortunate souls' feelings, put yourself in their position. How the heck would you have felt if it happened to you! For goodness sake, if you do not want to, CUT IT CLEARLY! If someone asked you "what about the future?" and you answered "well, I do not know what will happen in the future. It may work out it may still not." So what? That does not mean you can keep that person hanging till you really know what you want! It is either you give back what that person wants or help that person to move on and save their pride!! For goodness sake!

"To love is to suffer. To avoid suffering one must not love. But then one suffers from not loving. Therefore to love is to suffer, not to love is to suffer. To suffer is to suffer. To be happy is to love. To be happy then is to suffer. But suffering makes one unhappy. Therefore, to be unhappy one must love, or love to suffer, or suffer from too much happiness. I hope you're getting this down."
- Woody Allen - Hey, there will be rainbow only when it was after rain. A rose will not be a rose without thorns.

When you did not get your feelings back the way you want it to. You will start blaming that love will not go your way. Correct? Yes you did blame yourself for having such crazy luck. Well, it is not. It is a wonderful experience. Not everyone can go through such experience. Things like that will only make you stronger and build you up more. "Love doesn't make the world go round, love is what makes the ride worthwhile." - Elizabeth Browning -. "You do not choose love. Love chooses you.". So, if it is not meant to be, slowly let yourself out. It will not only hurt you, the people who care for you will equally feel sad with you. You do not want to appear to be that weak now, do you?

Somewhat personally, I think love is quite dangerous. At one point, it can bring out the evil side of the person and at another point, it can change a person into someone that person is not. I do not think it is right to say that you did not go through that point. Everyone will. After looking around, some homo-sapiens can turn into monsters (may it be green or poisonous). They can even start victimising the people around them just to get attention, even their good friends who stood by them all the time. You got his attention, fine! And then? You will start doing things which you think it is right but it did not go through your mind rationally. Another type will be, you will not be yourself in front of that special person to you. You will try to change yourself just to fit to their perfect partner criteria. You will start to feel uncomfortable of yourself. You will start feeling lost. News flash: First you need to ask yourself. Do you have a circle of friends which is an obvious answer. If they love you perfectly the way you are, so will the special people. If they do not, then it is their lose. It meant it-is-not-meant-to-be!

"Love is like a violin. The music may stop now and then, but the strings remain forever." - unknown - Which of course, reminds me of my late grandparents. That is definitely one good example to illustrate that quote, right? *smiles*

What is your relationship status?

Quite a familiar looking question, isn't it? Definitely openly and publicly found in facebook, friendster and most of the networking channels. It is an interesting question, actually. Well, at least, it is helping to let others who might be interested to know whether it is safe to hit on you. Of course, it consists of a variety of status for you to choose. The few popular ones are of course 'in a relationship', 'single', 'married' and 'it's complicated'. I will bet that if they have a 'not ready for a relationship' status, it will definitely be a big hit.

Well, I personally do not quite get what it's-complicated trying to imply. I mean, how complicated can it get if you are good enough to love yourself and make it simple? Of course you may argue that I do not understand what situations you are in. But, that gives you the excuse to use this status? How complicated? 1: If you broke off, then you are single. 2: If you are in love and single, then it is still single. 3: If you are in love and taken, then it is in-a-relationship. 4: If you are in love but you are not available due to the fact you are madly in love with that someone and that someone is madly in love with you, then it is just plain crazy because the both of you can already be in-a-relationship. So once, my friend surveyed her friend who was in a complicated status.

Friend A: So, how have you been lately? What's up?
Friend B: Oh, nothing much. You know. The usual complicated stuff.
A: So that is why the it's-complicated status?
B: Yup.
A: What about?
B: You know. The usual relationship problems. The guy said he likes me more than his girlfriend and his girlfriend does not know about this. We had sex together. We were happy together. He will break up with his girlfriend soon for me.

That will be only a little part of it. The complication? NONE! That is more like a I-AM-DESPERATE status. Another real life example of a complicated human being will be the following:

Confused boy: I don't know what is exactly going on between us. We broke off. Yet, I know we still like each other.

OR:

Girl: I don't know if we are officially named in-a-relationship 'cuz, like, we have never held hands or go any further. But, even so, he IS my boyfriend. It is just complicated.

Then, why broke off in the first place? Due to personal reasons? In my opinion, that is definitely a bad excuse. You love that someone. Yet you would not share your problem with that someone who cared. Then, what is the point of being in a relationship? And how can it be complicated when you do not even know if you are in a relationship? That is not complicated. That is just a complication YOU MADE UP!
The famous: Everyone-is-using-the-status-I-better-create-one-for-myself status.

Indecisive party: Gosh! I don't know what she is thinking or how is she feeling bout me.
Party's friend: Then, buck up! Go find out! ASK her!
Indecisive party: It is not as easy as you think. The situation is complicated. It needs time to think over. I can't just walk to her and ask her bluntly.

Why not? Or how else do you want information to get to you? What is the use of guessing what is going on and making an it's-complicated status to yourself? It will, of course, be acceptable and I will publicly apologize IF YOU ARE PSYCHIC! Or a mind-reader. How do you know what was stored in the head? Again, you are just creating the complication. It is more like an oh-my-gosh-help-me-I-am-going-to-make-myself-crazy-soon status.

How about the "I am not ready to commit" or "I am not ready to have or be in a relationship" status? This is definitely a popular status. Of course it is undeniable that it may be due to the concentrating-in-studies-first factor or the fact that you might have a bad past relationship. But, personally, I think they are all EXCUSES!

I mean, come on! How do you know when you are ready and when you are not? Again, unless you have super extraordinary emotion reader power, how can you be so sure? You may argue that "this is my life. My feeling. And you will never understand it 'cuz you ain't me!". Yes, of course I can not argue with that. It is true that you know your own feelings. BUT HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE READY? To me, I do not think it is due to feelings. You want it, you will have to work for it. You will not stray off of your concentration (or else drop out rates will increase drastically every year). How is it possible to blame it on 'readiness' when you yourself made up your mind for that special goal and having to think bout that goal everyday, will not make you lose concentration? THOSE ARE ALL MADE UP! Pity 'readiness' for being blamed for every single thing.

HOW DO YOU KNOW WHEN YOU ARE READY WHEN YOU DID NOT GIVE ANYTHING A TRY OR A CHANCE TO SEE IF YOU ARE REALLY READY?

You argued that you can picture the future if you went for it. Well, NEWS FLASH: You picturing the future does not mean that it will come true because, then, you will only exist in 'Heroes', which I highly doubt so that you are in it! "I picture myself being in a relationship with him. I felt uncomfy and do not know what to do." Think over it. That is a nonsensical sentence! "I am not ready for a relationship. I am not ready to commit again 'cuz I am tired and is still phobia of my horrible past relationship". So, does that mean history will repeat itself and repeat again, and, oops, again and repeat again and again? So, now you are psychic and you can tell you will have another bad relationship? THAT IS CALLED RUNNING AWAY!! GIVE IT A SHOT, people, OR YOU MIGHT LOSE A REALLY GOOD GO! Give it a shot, you will get a 50/50 chance. Not giving at all will be a 100% lose.

But, of course, in the end, the relationship status may be fake. From the status display, it can be a form of self-selling program. Having your relationship fakingly and constantly changing from single to IAR to complicated to married and *POOF* back to single, will definitely draw attention, BIG TIME! Well, you are not an Elizabeth Taylor or Paris or Brit enough to draw attention using the celebrity-favourite: The hooked-on hooked-off relationship publicity act. It will draw attention: Partly sympathizing you and partly thinking that you are one big time player and partly just being a plain topic to be gossiped or bitched about! So, give it a rest 'cuz you are trying too hard. Ain't a pretty sight of the image, isn't it now.